Published By:


Deferring Confrontation Only Makes Matters Worse
Learn to reprimand staff properly - and postively

BY: MICHAEL STERN December 30, 2002

Just recently I heard an executive complain about the consistently unsatisfactory work of an employee. It didn't take long before I determined the problem: The executive had never really sat down with the employee to set him straight about what he was doing wrong, and what he's supposed to do.

It's a common fault. Whether due to ignorance, fear or good old Canadian aversion to conflict, many executives shun reprimands and corrections. They'll wait till the annual review, or hope the situation sorts itself out: Why make things worse by getting into a negative discussion or potentially an emotional conflict?

The truth is, deferring such confrontation is usually a mistake. It's a wasted opportunity to correct errant behaviour and to re-motivate an employee.

With New Year's coming up, why not make this resolution to yourself: Learn to reprimand properly, so you never again feel compelled to duck an uncomfortable confrontation.

Follow these simple guidelines so you can correct minor problems before they become big ones.

Don't be afraid of conflict. A reprimand is really an opportunity to review people's objectives and help them get back on track. Aim for a positive outcome.

Never reprimand people in front of others. Wait until you can talk to them quietly, in your office or some other private space. Praise in public, correct in private.

Focus the conversation. Don't bring up a list of old grievances, and don't generalize ("Everything you do turns out wrong."). Be very specific about what you liked or didn't like about a particular behaviour or action, and remind the employee of the unsatisfactory results such actions can create.

Never make criticisms personal. Focus on the behaviour, not the individual. Couch your comments in a positive context: You know the employee can do better. "You're not delivering the kind of high quality product I know you can" sounds much better than, "You really screwed up this time." You can aim for employee buy-in by asking questions like, "Do you really think this is your best work?"

Allow enough time in your meeting for the employee to respond. His feedback is important. Listen for reasons why he might have acted as he did, and to identify whether or not the employee understands your concerns and is willing to change.

Help the employee know how to improve. This is your chance to clarify your company's goals, service standards or rules of deportment, any of which can often be forgotten in the heat of battle. Make sure the employee has clear guidelines on how to do things right next time.

End on a positive note. Statements such as "I know you can do better, because you usually do," assure employees that they still have your respect and confidence. Positive reinforcement is much more effective than general criticism and veiled threats.

Keep in mind, though, that the best way to reprimand is to position it as just part of an ongoing performance-related conversation. Corrections will be accepted better and are more likely to "take" if you maintain an ongoing dialogue of positive communication.

Still nervous about calling your people on the carpet? It's probably healthy. As U.S. poet and writer Alice Duer Miller once observed, "If it's painful for you to criticize your friends - you're safe in doing it. But if you take the slightest pleasure in it, that's the time to hold your tongue."